Over the years, I've been pondering deeply about a fundamental worry that surfaces in nearly every youth nearing the end of adolescence: am I really prepared for the adult world?
People constantly talk about how the world is scary and full of wickedness, and for someone who’s just about to plunge headfirst into the deep end of that pool, that’s a really terrifying thought! Pile that on top of the stressors of the present, it’s no wonder that approximately 20 percent of teens experience depression before they reach adulthood. Even for those of us who are lucky enough to not have to deal with depression during adolescence, the stress and worrying about what lies ahead can be anywhere from a gnawing ache to nearly debilitating. It is this feeling, this monster under the bed, that causes much of my grief for those without the truths of this blessed Gospel.
During my research on how the Lord recommends we prepare for the future, I came across a verse that I feel is the keystone to gaining the preparation we need. In Proverbs 4:7 we read, “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” But understanding of what? In the September 2007 edition of the New Era, President Gordon B Hinckley answers this, “Understanding of what? Understanding of ourselves, of the purposes of life, of our relationship to God who is our Father, of the great divinely given principles that for centuries have provided the sinew of man’s real progress! As we pursue our secular studies, let us also add to our lives the cultivation of the Spirit. If we do so, God will bless us with that peace and those blessings which come from Him alone.”
So here we have a lovely formula. To be prepared and have peace with our level of preparedness, we must pursue knowledge and wisdom in both temporal and spiritual matters. However, the question still remains: how exactly do we do that? Well, as I was studying this topic, I was reminded of Stephen R Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly People--or more specifically, Sean Covey’s adaptation for teenagers--because these habits are essentially the doctrine of the gospel put into a secular setting and designed to help everyone feel as if they have a better handle on their life. I won’t go into them all, but I feel the first three--the private victory--are key to being prepared for what the world has in store.
Habit 1: Be proactive. This is the ultimate first step. As Sean Covey put it, being proactive is saying, “I am the force. I am the captain of my life. I can choose my attitude. I’m responsible for my own happiness or unhappiness. I am in the driver’s seat of my destiny, not just a passenger.” Proactivity is exactly the same thing as the Young Women’s value of Choice and Accountability. It is not only understanding our gift of agency, it is using it and taking responsibility for using it. We cannot be prepared if we don’t put our own lives in our own hands. It’s difficult, yes, and sometimes all we want to do is scream and hit and cry about all the injustices done to us. Sometimes we need that emotional release. I know I do. But ultimately, the words of Nephi to Jacob in 2 Nephi 2:27 ring true, “Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and call things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.”
Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind. Whether you’re LDS or not, any journey must be begun with an idea where you want to end up. In my humble opinion, the best way to do that is receiving your patriarchal blessing if you don’t already have it. It’s such a wonderful thing to have and not only does it guide in spiritual matters, it helps so much in the temporal sphere as well. To quote the words of President Monson in the October 1986 General Conference, “Your patriarchal blessing will see you through the darkest night. It will guide you through life’s dangers. Unlike the struggling bomber of yesteryear, lost in the desert wastes, the sands and storms of life will not destroy you on your eternal flight. Your patriarchal blessing is to you a personal Liahona to chart your course and guide your way.” I know mine has helped me get back on the path I need to be whenever I feel lost or confused or even down in the depths of a self-deprecating whirlpool. Understanding where I need to be relative to where I’m at is such a powerful thing, because as the saying goes, “the road to anywhere is really a life to nowhere.” I know so many people who honestly just have no idea who, what, or where they want to be. Expectations from parents, teachers and society weigh upon their shoulders until they feel like Atlas, too busy carrying the world on his back to go anywhere himself. For those who identify with that situation, I call upon the words of Howard Thurman, “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” For me, that thing is music and teaching, so I’m pursuing a degree in music education. This path is obvious to me, because music has been such an integral part of me my whole life, but many people aren’t blessed with that. So for you, I say, remember the parable of the gardener and the currant bush. The Lord is the gardener here. He knows you and knows what he wants you to be. He knows what will bring you joy, and He will guide you through answers to your heartfelt prayers and through your patriarchal blessing.
There is so little time in our busy lives, and things seem to be rushing at us at a million miles per minute, especially as a new adult. So much so that it seems as if there is no way we could ever be prepared for what lies ahead. How do we manage to follow President Hinckley’s counsel and become wise both temporally and spiritually, if we can barely even learn what we need for our American Heritage midterm tomorrow? Habit 3: put first things first, is the answer. Procrastinating less, saying no to unimportant activities that feel important but really aren’t, cutting down on excessive relaxation, all these help to place us back in relaxed control of our life, where we really want to be. Comedian Steven Wright summed up this habit amazingly well when he said, “I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn’t have to go so fast.” By putting the really important things first, we suddenly have time to do the things we really want to do. By doing the things that are necessary, but not necessarily enjoyable, we put ourselves in a place that is far better prepared and infinitely less stressful than had we not. It works the same in all things, be it temporal or spiritual. The Primary answers are the important ones. Reading the scriptures and praying daily, going to church every Sunday, frequently visiting the temple; all these bring us closer to the Lord and as a direct result, bring us greater peace. By putting first things first, we can give ourselves adequate time and means to fulfill our potential and gain as much secular and spiritual learning as we can. Time is precious in in our mortal existence and it must be used so carefully, as this poem illustrates
People constantly talk about how the world is scary and full of wickedness, and for someone who’s just about to plunge headfirst into the deep end of that pool, that’s a really terrifying thought! Pile that on top of the stressors of the present, it’s no wonder that approximately 20 percent of teens experience depression before they reach adulthood. Even for those of us who are lucky enough to not have to deal with depression during adolescence, the stress and worrying about what lies ahead can be anywhere from a gnawing ache to nearly debilitating. It is this feeling, this monster under the bed, that causes much of my grief for those without the truths of this blessed Gospel.
During my research on how the Lord recommends we prepare for the future, I came across a verse that I feel is the keystone to gaining the preparation we need. In Proverbs 4:7 we read, “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” But understanding of what? In the September 2007 edition of the New Era, President Gordon B Hinckley answers this, “Understanding of what? Understanding of ourselves, of the purposes of life, of our relationship to God who is our Father, of the great divinely given principles that for centuries have provided the sinew of man’s real progress! As we pursue our secular studies, let us also add to our lives the cultivation of the Spirit. If we do so, God will bless us with that peace and those blessings which come from Him alone.”
So here we have a lovely formula. To be prepared and have peace with our level of preparedness, we must pursue knowledge and wisdom in both temporal and spiritual matters. However, the question still remains: how exactly do we do that? Well, as I was studying this topic, I was reminded of Stephen R Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly People--or more specifically, Sean Covey’s adaptation for teenagers--because these habits are essentially the doctrine of the gospel put into a secular setting and designed to help everyone feel as if they have a better handle on their life. I won’t go into them all, but I feel the first three--the private victory--are key to being prepared for what the world has in store.
Habit 1: Be proactive. This is the ultimate first step. As Sean Covey put it, being proactive is saying, “I am the force. I am the captain of my life. I can choose my attitude. I’m responsible for my own happiness or unhappiness. I am in the driver’s seat of my destiny, not just a passenger.” Proactivity is exactly the same thing as the Young Women’s value of Choice and Accountability. It is not only understanding our gift of agency, it is using it and taking responsibility for using it. We cannot be prepared if we don’t put our own lives in our own hands. It’s difficult, yes, and sometimes all we want to do is scream and hit and cry about all the injustices done to us. Sometimes we need that emotional release. I know I do. But ultimately, the words of Nephi to Jacob in 2 Nephi 2:27 ring true, “Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and call things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.”
Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind. Whether you’re LDS or not, any journey must be begun with an idea where you want to end up. In my humble opinion, the best way to do that is receiving your patriarchal blessing if you don’t already have it. It’s such a wonderful thing to have and not only does it guide in spiritual matters, it helps so much in the temporal sphere as well. To quote the words of President Monson in the October 1986 General Conference, “Your patriarchal blessing will see you through the darkest night. It will guide you through life’s dangers. Unlike the struggling bomber of yesteryear, lost in the desert wastes, the sands and storms of life will not destroy you on your eternal flight. Your patriarchal blessing is to you a personal Liahona to chart your course and guide your way.” I know mine has helped me get back on the path I need to be whenever I feel lost or confused or even down in the depths of a self-deprecating whirlpool. Understanding where I need to be relative to where I’m at is such a powerful thing, because as the saying goes, “the road to anywhere is really a life to nowhere.” I know so many people who honestly just have no idea who, what, or where they want to be. Expectations from parents, teachers and society weigh upon their shoulders until they feel like Atlas, too busy carrying the world on his back to go anywhere himself. For those who identify with that situation, I call upon the words of Howard Thurman, “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” For me, that thing is music and teaching, so I’m pursuing a degree in music education. This path is obvious to me, because music has been such an integral part of me my whole life, but many people aren’t blessed with that. So for you, I say, remember the parable of the gardener and the currant bush. The Lord is the gardener here. He knows you and knows what he wants you to be. He knows what will bring you joy, and He will guide you through answers to your heartfelt prayers and through your patriarchal blessing.
There is so little time in our busy lives, and things seem to be rushing at us at a million miles per minute, especially as a new adult. So much so that it seems as if there is no way we could ever be prepared for what lies ahead. How do we manage to follow President Hinckley’s counsel and become wise both temporally and spiritually, if we can barely even learn what we need for our American Heritage midterm tomorrow? Habit 3: put first things first, is the answer. Procrastinating less, saying no to unimportant activities that feel important but really aren’t, cutting down on excessive relaxation, all these help to place us back in relaxed control of our life, where we really want to be. Comedian Steven Wright summed up this habit amazingly well when he said, “I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn’t have to go so fast.” By putting the really important things first, we suddenly have time to do the things we really want to do. By doing the things that are necessary, but not necessarily enjoyable, we put ourselves in a place that is far better prepared and infinitely less stressful than had we not. It works the same in all things, be it temporal or spiritual. The Primary answers are the important ones. Reading the scriptures and praying daily, going to church every Sunday, frequently visiting the temple; all these bring us closer to the Lord and as a direct result, bring us greater peace. By putting first things first, we can give ourselves adequate time and means to fulfill our potential and gain as much secular and spiritual learning as we can. Time is precious in in our mortal existence and it must be used so carefully, as this poem illustrates
To realize the value of one year,
Ask a student who has failed a final exam.
To realize the value of one month,
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of one week,
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of one hour,
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of one minute;
Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize the value of one second,
Ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of one millisecond,
Ask a student who has failed a final exam.
To realize the value of one month,
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of one week,
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of one hour,
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of one minute;
Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize the value of one second,
Ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of one millisecond,
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
How do we prepare ourselves for what lies ahead? The answer is by learning, gaining experience and bettering ourselves in every aspect both temporal and spiritual. If we can strengthen ourselves and our relationship with the Lord, no obstacle nor trial nor confusing tax form can stand in our way and impede us from becoming the shining individual he knows we can become.
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